TURTLE LOVER

It's been a year since Shannon passed away, and I can't say we've talked about her as much as I would have liked, but then again, I didn't make much effort to get our group together and chat about her either.

Right now I'm sitting in bed with mint chocolate ice cream and remembering Shannon for the goofy friend I met in Summer 2009 and spent many a long day talking to, as well as with the other goofy and dear friends I made around that time, too.

We all had similar interests: Bleach, Black Butler, Final Fantasy 6 & 7, a few shows I don't remember, and Shannon's adorable laugh.

I still have multitudes of sound bytes left on MSN Plus of all of us being goofballs one sunny afternoon and recording ourselves all saying really stupid things or talking about Ashido's Penis. It was so much fun, from Shannon can has-ing porn to me talking about random PLAAAAAAAAANES and Aizen spanking Kadaj.


I can safely say that whenever I see Joker in Black Butler, I'm going to think of you, Shannon. You played him, had him down pat. I remember you being vaguely interested in a potential gurodressing a little before you passed away, and every time I see it brought up, I still think of you.


I still feel a pang of sadness whenever I look at Bleed Kaga, remembering all the videos I uploaded for you to watch and your promise that you'd watch them when your bandwidth was increased... I remember making you fall in love with him and it pleased me to no end. You (as well as Misu and Jen) got me into liking Kira a bit more, and I have to say, that Gibi banging Nnoitra was one of the hottest things alive.


Somewhere, Niki is snorting her cheese toastie and keysmashing.


You were very comforting to all of us, and even if we all got mad at one another, it wouldn't take long before we'd all get together for a group hug. It kind of feels like those days are far gone, but as of late, I've noticed our little rag tag group coming together again SHHH THAT WASN'T DIRTY.


I love you still, Shannon. And I am eating ice cream in -5C weather and freezing rain to show just that; but you already knew I cared for you anyway. Here's to

eating ice cream and remembering the good times.

I play Shadow the Hedgehog at dear mun a lot, and my fave Sonic and Rouge muns both came to talk to me. Because of the recent events... Sonic-mun gave me this.



I'm still broken up, who wouldn't be. My sister accidentally rolled her eyes when I brought up Shannon again yesterday, and that really hurt me. This isn't just some fad-- our friend died. I guess that's why she apologized after doing it. I told her I need to talk to someone about it or I will lose it. I've never had this happen before.

When my grandfather died, I was too young and ignorant to really get it. I'm not like that anymore. I agree with what Lynny said, I keep expecting to see a post from Shannon. I'm afraid to go to sleep at night because I might have dreams of her, and they'll confuse me into thinking she's still alive.

I pray every night now, to try and send messages to her via God. It may sound weird, but it is one of the things keeping me strong, along with the strength from all of you. It still feels like Shannon's just moved somewhere without internet. I don't want to live in denial, but it hurts way too much to just accept it and move on. That sounds too insensitive.

I'm sorry for anyone on my f-list unrelated to all of this, but this may be my subject for the next few months or more. I can't just let it go. Everything else in life seems so trivial now. I don't even know if I can focus on schoolwork. And I have to, but... Mmmf.

I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT...

I love all of you. I had an ice cream bar yesterday. it has never hurt to eat ice cream like that before. For the first time it didn't hurt my teeth, but... yeah.

I love you guys.