I failed.

[hebbycakes]

I get back to school only to find out that I failed my Sociology paper. I got 27 out of 100. This was the paper I thought I'd get good on. But I failed it horribly.

I didn't have any foot notes or end notes. I didn't know how to do them. I never ask for help because I can't. I don't know what to ask for help with and I'm too shy. I only found one site that had all the info I needed, but he said there are tons of sites.

It was his fault I changed my subject. I should have just stuck with Spousal Violence and how it affects women, not Spousal Violence in History. Why did I have to change it!? He told me to, so I thought it was a good idea. I didn't get any books...

I don't know how to do research papers. Plain and simple. And he spent about 10 minutes telling me how I did it wrong. I'm sorry I'm such a screw up. I know that. But telling me over and over how I got 0 just makes me feel like shit. I probably lost the papers he wants me to find. And then he told me to look at someone's good paper so I can see how things are done.

Everything he said basically sounded like "What I tell those who get 0 is they'll never be able to pass!". I already knew that. I wanted to stay an extra year in High School so I could catch up and get all my credits, but I was told that I'd like University. Whether I'd like it or not doesn't matter! I have to get through High School, and as things stand, I won't just fail French, I'll also fail both Math and Sociology. I don't understand what we're doing in Math at all, I didn't work on my Math Project all break and I only have 2 weeks left to work on that. Plus, I have to somehow pass French.

I can't do it. I just can't. I look like I can, but I can't. My depression is really pounding on me and I can't get out of it. No matter how many drugs I take, it won't matter. I'm completely screwed up.

Now I have to go see all of my teachers every free minute for extra help, but I never know what to ask for and I just break into tears. And 18 year old like me that breaks into tears whenever there's a challenge. It's so pathetic.

If I start crying in Math, then that's it. I just can't do it anymore. I know this is a hectic time, but for me, it's Apocolypse. I'm just sinking deeper and deeper and no one can help me because I don't let them. I don't know how to.

I wish mom or dad were home... I need someone's shoulder to cry on. I don't want them telling me what I did wrong. I know that. I just want comfort.

Or is that too much to ask for a slacker?

Comments

[sapphireluna.livejournal.com]

Aw I'm sorry to hear that ;_; I'm not sure what to say. You probably have trouble in school because you're sick all the time. Don't be afraid to ask for help. You do need help. Staying in high school another year is probably a good idea for you. Start a whole new year anew.

[kaiba-katt.livejournal.com]

I want to, but at the same time, I don't. >< I just hope things end up working out somehow.

[kaiba-katt.livejournal.com]

I like to think I can, but sometimes I just feel so hopeless. I have almost zero confidence and when I try to ask for help, I have a breakdown. It's almost impossible for me to do anything at this point.

[kaiba-katt.livejournal.com]

I guess so...

Thank you. :')

[the-terrible.livejournal.com]

Never be afraid to ask questions. A good teacher will think better of you for it, not less. *hug*

[kaiba-katt.livejournal.com]

*hugs back*