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What will it take to make you realize that if I say "I am suffering from medication withdrawal and it's literally ripping me emotions apart" it does not mean I am actually angry at you? I was trying so hard to make you understand that I was suffering from withdrawal, mixed with cramps from PMS, and having gone to sleep at 5am after the stress of missing our bus. I'm grateful we got out of Gangnam, I'm so happy about the weekend we had, but when paxil withdrawal kicked in, I felt like I was in an alternate reality. I was not angry with you, I was trying to explain what was going on.
Have you ever actually had withdrawal? No, I don't mean the side-effects of coming off regular anti-depressants or even concerta, I mean feeling like your brain is trying to do barrel-rolls in your head, your teeth can't stop clenching, your focus fades in and out as if programmed like a bad camera lens, and every muscle in your body starts to ACHE.
That's what was happening to me while I tried to explain to you that I was sorry for snapping suddenly, I wasn't mad at you, I wanted to either eat or leave. But now I feel like I've screwed up again, and I know I did, but I just want you to know that I'm sorry. Withdrawal is a nasty thing, and I'm sorry for scaring you like I did.
To be honest, I'm a little afraid to even try to play Hiccup now because I think you came on a little strong. I liked the movie yes, I saw it twice in two days with you. It was good, I like the characters- But the larping got a little intense when you wouldn't stop pushing it every second. It was hard to focus on who I wanted to larp as, and eventually I just wasn't in the mood. I'm kind of afraid now to play a movie character like Hiccup because I know that I may not play him all the time and you'll get exasperated with me. I can't be like the Hiccup you want your Toothless to play with. I can't be that replacement. I want to play him to have fun, but I'm getting bad vibes.
I think the only thing you may need to work on in RP (LARP also) is not to come on so strongly. It felt like I was being pushed, even if it wasn't literal. And I know this is going to sound weird coming from me considering how I acted before we parted ways, but please chill out when it comes to RP. You act as if every moment you type a word, the universe is going to explode. It won't. Let things just flow normally, please please.
There was something else here I wanted to say, but there's really no need now, I've said basically all I wanted to, and I didn't want this to be a long rant. Bed time.
Have you ever actually had withdrawal? No, I don't mean the side-effects of coming off regular anti-depressants or even concerta, I mean feeling like your brain is trying to do barrel-rolls in your head, your teeth can't stop clenching, your focus fades in and out as if programmed like a bad camera lens, and every muscle in your body starts to ACHE.
That's what was happening to me while I tried to explain to you that I was sorry for snapping suddenly, I wasn't mad at you, I wanted to either eat or leave. But now I feel like I've screwed up again, and I know I did, but I just want you to know that I'm sorry. Withdrawal is a nasty thing, and I'm sorry for scaring you like I did.
To be honest, I'm a little afraid to even try to play Hiccup now because I think you came on a little strong. I liked the movie yes, I saw it twice in two days with you. It was good, I like the characters- But the larping got a little intense when you wouldn't stop pushing it every second. It was hard to focus on who I wanted to larp as, and eventually I just wasn't in the mood. I'm kind of afraid now to play a movie character like Hiccup because I know that I may not play him all the time and you'll get exasperated with me. I can't be like the Hiccup you want your Toothless to play with. I can't be that replacement. I want to play him to have fun, but I'm getting bad vibes.
I think the only thing you may need to work on in RP (LARP also) is not to come on so strongly. It felt like I was being pushed, even if it wasn't literal. And I know this is going to sound weird coming from me considering how I acted before we parted ways, but please chill out when it comes to RP. You act as if every moment you type a word, the universe is going to explode. It won't. Let things just flow normally, please please.
There was something else here I wanted to say, but there's really no need now, I've said basically all I wanted to, and I didn't want this to be a long rant. Bed time.
