Jan. 20th, 2010 01:45 am
hebbycakes: (everyone dies)
don't you just hate it when you finally get to talk to your sister about all the shit she put you through, and you're able to finally address it and talk it out, no matter how old it was, and finally sort it out so that you can MOVE ON? And then you find yourself talking about happier stuff amidst the bad, and we didn't FIGHT during it? and you just feel so good that you're getting along with your sister?

then god says "oh by the way, here's reality"

and your dad starts to swear at you for waking him up, and makes you feel like shit and tells you "you know better you should be ashamed, you know you get sick all the time, go to bed right fucking now, this happens NEVER again"

i love my dad. but i hate him when he does that. i had no idea it was 1:26am at the time. the last i'd checked, it was almost 11pm. i had no idea we'd been talking that long.

so apparently, my dad thinks my illness is my fault. that me "staying up late" is what makes me sick and why i miss school. i guess he doesn't fucking know that i have insomnia and i can't help it if i stay up if i CAN'T SLEEP. and so, later when i wake up, he's going to wake up when i put the dogs out and he's going to verbally harass me. i'm going to try to get out and go to school asap because i dont' want to be attacked. i know mom is going to be ashamed of me for staying up late and i won't have the chance to tell her why.

i can't stop crying. i'm sobbing like when shannon died. i know it's not the same, but it feels like huge weights are on me again, that i can't get rid of. i finally got some off my shoulders and now new ones have been added.

i don't usually say this, i don't want to sound ungrateful, but i just have to.

i fucking hate my dad right now, even if i love him to death. i wish he wouldn't swear at me, even if he's tired. i may swear on here, but i NEVER ever swear at him. him being my dad gives him no right to swear at me. i almost felt like going to sleep outside in the cold because i felt a sudden millennium of misery fill me up. even though my sis and i got over a huge barrier, we were abused for it.

hebbycakes: (AAAAAAH)
okay so like, I've always had problems with my teeth. This year, I've been to about 6 or 7 appointments to get my teeth repaired. However, five days ago, I started to have bad toothache on the right side of my mouth. I didn't think much of it, until I got a horrendous migraine. So I took two ibuprofin, assuming it would go away.

IT DIDN'T. It numbed the pain for about three hours, then came back. Today? I took two pills and the pain was numbed for 20 minutes before coming back full force.

It's keeping me from sleeping, from functioning properly... I don't want to OD, that would be awful, but the pain is so. much. Even ice packs don't do a thing. Just make my head cold.

I've got an appointment on friday at noon at the dentist's, I just really hope I can make it without writhing on the floor, screaming. Because seriously, I don't think I've ever been in this much physical pain before. Half of my head feels like it's being crushed in. Or electrocuted.

It really REALLY hurts. I can't stop shaking, and loud noise is... well, pretty much hell.

wants to cryyyyy


Jun. 26th, 2009 01:40 am
hebbycakes: (*tear*)


;_; I feel like a part of my soul went with him. ;________;
hebbycakes: (*tear*)
I love the story and I love the graphics, and I adore the voice work (english AND japanese).

However... I cannot play it well at all. The gameplay is really hard. Maybe it's just me, but... As cool as it is seeing Sonic wielding a blade... I think I'd be able to take out all those enemies the old way.

It's depressed me because I can't beat levels now. I'll just wait for someone else to do it and I'll watch them. I'm obviously good at that.

Still, if you like a challenge, I suggest renting or buying it. It's not really my thing, but the storyline is great.


Why can't I just battle against PCs? Why does it have to be against other players? And if I can only battle with PCs, why won't it let me select that? ;____; I don't have a really good opinion on this game so far, but the fact the japanese audio is an option is a plus.

but still. *DEPRESSED AT LACK OF ABILITY TO PROPERLY PLAY THE GAME* Maybe I oughtta practice more with Caliburn...

*gloom doom despair*
hebbycakes: (*SPEW*)


Also, I keep having dreams about Caroro. I guess I miss her.
hebbycakes: (*tear*)

After seeing this clip again... after watching it so many times, I've never cried so hard after seeing it again.

I don't know if it's the meaning I get, or if I understand what she's gone through, but for whatever reason, it moved me.

And these aren't tears I want to hide.

November 2012

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